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Serenity

May 2013

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Serenity

Reflections

I heard the song "Good In Goodbye" today for the first time and it made me stop and listen, and then think. I thought back to past relationships, ones that I thought were going to last much longer, if not forever. Once I met Glenn, I understood why things hadn't worked out before. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt when it happened, that I didn't hang on as hard as I could to "what could've been," but I can see now why things happened the way they did.

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

I don't regret any of those relationships: they made me who I am today and I appreciate what I have all the more because of each of them and their respective break ups. I'm glad that, for the most part, I can still count them as friends and that, often-times, I gained friends that I still care about very much. However, I know I'm where I'm supposed to be.

I don’t regret it
The time we had together
I won’t forget it
But we both ended up where we belong
I guess goodbye made us strong
And yeah I’m happy
I found somebody too who makes me happy

I'm grateful that I have what I have: a husband that loves and cares for me, who supports me, who is there when I need him, even if he can't physically be there all the time. I'm grateful for my beautiful baby boy who teaches me so much and loves me unconditionally. I'm grateful that, even when I spend a day feeling like I was in the crappy mom department, that he looks at me, smiles, and makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I'm not such a failure and I did alright after all. I'm grateful for this and so much more.

I know my path is most definitely different from what I had planned (I mean, really, I live in Utah ya'll!), but I'm so grateful it is.

Comments

Yeah you are back! I agree with your thoughts about not getting what we think we want, it may not be what we need.